7/17/2006 - Snot check
I have, after much consideration and pondering of the subject, decided that scuba diving is just not something that allows one to be entirely as ladylike as one would perhaps like. In fact, I'm beginning to believe that good manners and socially expected standards of cleanliness and appearance requirements are mutually exclusive with the sport of scuba diving.
Snot, for example, is just not accepted by society. If someone was to walk around with a big goober stuck to their forehead, most people would eye them very warily and keep well away, instantly labelling said person as an "unhygienic" [dear god my spelling ability has departed!] weirdo who should be avoided at all costs for fear of getting too close to those bits of totally disgusting slime.
Amongst divers, snot isn't seen as such a big no-no. Well, it's not really something everyone runs around with because it's in fashion, but most people are okay with a bit of snot here and there. Personally, I find those bits of snot stuck to other people's noses and foreheads very distracting - I keep staring at them with a morbid fascination, wondering how I should tell the person that "excuse me, mate, but you have a booger the size of Antarctica stuck to your forehead and it's very distracting so please wipe it off," considering I don't always know them well and it feels a bit rude to tell someone about their snot.
These days I yell out "Snot check!" on the boat after every dive, and it's quite amusing to watch my divers glance around at each other and discretely point out tremendous bits of goop somehow managing to defy gravity by sticking too damn well.
So yes, having a snot check is accepted by diving society. It is not so much accepted in normal society given the fact that most people don't walk around with snot stuck to their face.
From a girly and totally-anal-tendencies poing of view, snot is disgusting. I am always paranoid I have goobers stuck to me and often wash my face several times before asking a trusted dive buddy whether "i'm good". Thankfully they're all understanding of my morbid snot-fear and as such treat me with kid gloves and never lie to me. Really.
Another thing that totally grosses me out is spitting. Especially when people 'gorbie'. And yet, on the dive boat, we encourage people to spit. Well, I don't, I encourage them to buy artificial spit-in-a-bottle because even though they may all believe the motto "the greener the cleaner" I'm totally of the opinion that anything that green and that slimey is So. Not. Good.
Once again, an example of habit which most of society frowns upon which is an accepted practice in scuba divers. Oh sure, when the guys are all boozed up or running around on the football field in very short, tight shorts, they're allowed to spit because they're guys and guys do that sort of thing (and also, those shorts make most women forgive anything anyway). Normally though, most people who conform to society standards don't generally walk around slagging on pavements and windows and buses, if you get my drift. Much less stick their fingers in the spit and rub it around... Eeeewwww....
I love diving, but even I have my limits as to grossness factor which I'll let myself sink too. Call me girly, call me wussy, call me whatever you want, but the fact is most dive shops sell artificial spit and they'll continue to sell it because there's a large proportion of people who are moving beyond the dark ages of spitting and rinsing... Remember, once upon a time people never used to brush their teeth either!
And snot? I don't anticipate any manufacturer coming up with an 'anti-snot spray' in the near future, so I imagine I'll just have to keep doing my snot checks on deck. Besides, they're good for a laugh! 
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