5/28/2006 - This Man's World
I haven’t done an extensive amount of traveling and diving – I plan to one day, but for now, most of my diving experience has been in my home area. The conditions where I dive are fairly tough – very low vis, very temperate (nice way of saying BLOODY FREEZING MATE) water temperatures, making gear even more awkward and cumbersome because of exposure suits and weight requirements.
Ultimately, this all leads up and helps add to the fact that where I dive, diving is a very male-dominated arena. Majority of the local divers are in it for the hunting – crayfish, abalone, scallops, spearfishing, and the like. Diving is seen as a ‘guy’ thing, even though there are women doing it.
In some ways, this is very frustrating, because it would be nice to have more female company on the dive boat and for fun dives. It’d be nice to socialize with people who don’t think farting competitions are a standard requirement for a good evening, and to be with people who don’t often regress to talk about breasts and the like after a few beers.
Still, there is obviously something about the lifestyle and the guys that keep me going back for more rude, crass jokes and farting competitions. Either I’m completely whacked (which is a distinct possibility if you knew the guys I hang out with) or there is more to them than being rude and obnoxious.
I’m sure in some areas, females equal males in terms of dive numbers and skills and the like, but unfortunately where I live this simply isn’t the case. Which makes me an aberration to the rule – it’s not often to find a female instructor in this area, let alone one in her early twenties. Thankfully, I’ve had very little in terms of having to prove myself to guys. The guys that give me the most grief are the older ‘I’ve been diving for longer than you’ve been alive, missy’ men who’ve been ‘diving since 1945 and I don’t need no stinking dive ticket’.
Righto, bucko, suit yourself. I’m not about to break my back if you’ve got that attitude, and apparently you wouldn’t break your back to make sure you get on one of my courses, so I guess in the grand scheme of things, we’re even.
What really infuriates me, though, is the perception by some of the men that because I am female, I do not understand gear or diving or boats. This isn’t so much with the guys who I dive with regularly, but several of the regular ‘bigwig commercial divers’ have that attitude when they come into our retail center, and hang around deliberately ignoring my attempts to serve them, until one of the ‘men’ are free.
I’m not an all-out feminist. I like the idea of equality and mutual respect, but I also quite happily accept that men and women are different in a lot of aspects. I just find it insulting that these men don’t understand or give me the chance to let them realize that, contrary to popular opinion, I do know what I’m talking about.
I mean, look at my regular dive buddies – they have no issues with me giving them advice, and fixing things for them if they can’t, and I’m a female who’s usually about half their age. I think nothing of it, and I’m pretty sure they don’t really give it much thought either.
I'm their instructor; I've done most of their dive courses and looked after them until they were finished with their DM courses. I've taught them a lot, and yet, they also look after me. They'll help me with my gear, and fix technical problems because they're guys and they like things like that, where as I much prefer throwing my hands up in the air and wailing theatrically because the stupid thing is broken. Don't get me wrong, I'm perfectly capable of fixing it, but it's nice to have the big strong guys look after me. Is that too much against the feminism of today? The idea that women need big strong men to look after them?
You know what, I really don't care. My guys know I'm capable, and they know I can (and do) kick their asses when they need it. I never doubt that they have faith in me, and I think me stepping back to let them do all the important 'fix-it' and 'lift-it' and 'build-it' jobs not only lets them know I have confidence and faith in their abilities, but it's also a way of telling them we're equals in ability.
Besides, what kind of moron would refuse an offer that makes their life easier?!
Ultimately, I’m not usually too upset to be the only woman diving with them. In fact, lately I’ve found myself getting jealous if we have other girls around because I have to share my guys, damn it! In reality, they aren’t that rude either. When they get a bit rowdy, or too crude, they normally settle down without me having to say anything, and look at me sheepishly with a mumbled “Sorry, Gracie,” like naughty little boys with their hands caught in the cookie jar.
I love my guys, and they are a big part of the reason I love diving as much as I do. They all come from different walks of life and have different experiences and knowledge they're so happy to share with me, it humbles me to call them all friends. I look at people who come into the shop and mentally categorise me as “female and therefore knows nothing about anything of value” and wonder how they get through life and really appreciate everything they could about their wives and daughters and mothers, if they can’t even acknowledge that as a professional diver, I have something of value to offer them.
It just makes me sad, but then I remember my guys and the entire purpose of this post seems kinda academic because good guys exist too.
Girls are kinda silly in that they analyse relationships and friendships, and place a lot more importance on them than guys do. It’s part of what makes us different from the guys, and when you find the guys that understand and accept that as a typical female trait, and are okay with you being like that, then I guess you can consider yourself ‘one of the guys’.
And you know what? It’s pretty damn cool being one of the guys, because girls can fart and burp too!
|
