5/24/2006 - Two Lives
I've discovered recently that my life has this huge split down the middle - my Diving Life and my Other Life. It doesn't feel as though there's anyway to reconnect the two, and I'm not sure trying to merge them would be a good idea... but at the same, clinging frantically to two different worlds is really starting to wreak havoc with my arms.
Other Life is friends and people with whom I work. It's trying to make a living. Live a life that can go on beyond the bubbles and the neoprene, if such a thing could even exist.
And then there's the Diving Life, that is all about bubbles and beauty and passion and people who are happy for me to be me. They like my quirks and leave no question in my mind that they like having me around. Such a fresh change from the effort required by other friendships and formalities and life.
Once you've dived with someone you have a tie with them; before you go down you're strangers and by the time you come up it's as though you've known each other for years. You've shared a moment with that person that few other people would understand.
I guess it's inevitable then, that when you dive with the same people all the time you automatically grow closer to them, more so than you normally would.
Diving has brought more to my life than just an enjoyable hobby. It's given me direction and confidence and the belief in myself as person who other people could possibly like. It's also brought some amazing people as both students and dive buddies, including two people who I would never have thought would be people who I reffered to as my best friends. And yet, here I am, the person I've become because of the influence of a single breath underwater for the first time.
So two lives, two personas, two directions. The allure of diving is certainly more appealing, but I was raised with a realism (that now borders on cynicism and pessimism) and the belief to always be prepared for the worse. Once I'm prepared, I'll blow bubbles 24/7, but for now, I guess, it's a matter of balancing the two worlds on my shoulders until something shifts and a new balance is reached.
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