Learning about Sharks - funnky !

Tips to survive an attack:

Of course, the easiest way to avoid a shark attack: DO NOT GO INTO THE WATER. At a time when shark attacks have been dominating the media, you might want to take a moment to ponder whether or not you should be swimming at all. But, you should definitely avoided swimming in the dark. It makes it much harder for you to see the sharks, but doesn't make you taste any worse to them. Also, during the twilight hours is when most sharks tend to do their most severe amount of partying. If you go into the water early in the morning, the shark is likely to be hung over, and even if he couldn't stomach any food, he will eat you just on principle.

If you are alone, DO NOT GO INTO THE WATER. Always go into the water as part of a group, preferably an entire family, as sharks are ten times more likely to attack children. This makes it much easier to bargain with them, as sharks tend to be very reasonable if you will give them the opportunity to eat a small child.

If you resemble a sea lion, walrus or penguin, DO NOT GO INTO THE WATER. Particularly if you have been marinating in drawn butter for the better part of an hour. The odds are pretty good that a shark will not even think twice about eating you.

If you are already profusely bleeding when you arrive at the beach DO NOT GO INTO THE WATER. You'll make the sharks job much easier, thus making them very angry, as they like to be challenged.

If you are wearing shiny jewlery, DO NOT GO INTO THE WATER. Not so much beacuse the sharks will eat you, but because they will think that you are very tacky, and would go on E! with Joan Rivers and talk about your horrible fashion sense.

6:35 AM - 2/13/2006 - post comment