I met Nikki, an all around awesome chick diver and spearo, earlier this year on a trip out of Jupiter . I was solo on the boat, new to the group. She made an effort to draw me into conversation. We discussed spearfishing, being chicks in a male sport, and generally bonded. She convinced me to join Spearboard, then sent me a PM on Scubaboard to remind me when a week had passed and I still hadn't shown up. We only met once, but she left a lasting impression. She was bubbly, smart, funny, and kind. In short, someone I remember thinking that I'd really like to get to know better.
This past Saturday, I went spearfishing off of Boynton. I won't post a profile or report, because sadly, I was a bit negligent and complacent. I went too deep, stayed too long, and in general pushed the envelope. And I'm disappointed in myself, because I know better. At the end of the second dive, I was having trouble manipulating my gun. I was tired of fighting the currents, muscle fatigue had hit, probably more than a little narcosis, and I thought back to my first Jupiter dive and her advice. My exact thought was, "Oh Nikki was right, I really need to work my lats more if I'm gonna do this...I'll send her a PM on Spearboard".
And now, it is tragically appearing that I will not get the chance. At around the same time I was thinking about sending her a message, she was diving 20 miles north of me off of Jupiter. And sometime shortly after that, something apparently went very wrong. She didn't return from the dive. Coast Guard was notified and a search commenced for Saturday and all day Sunday, but no sight of her. Numerous divers have been out, searching both on the surface and underwater. Though the Coast Guard has seemingly suspended search efforts, many individuals who were similarly touched by this awesome woman have pitched in to continue the search by sea and air. And while I'm still praying for a miracle, my faith is shaken with each passing moment.
I feel selfish that i'm reflecting upon my own grief at this time. We met only once and shared some online correspondence. She has so many good friends that know and love her. Her parents are also divers, and her family h as been vocal in their hopes, prayers, and support for the ongoing search. My sympathy and hearts go out them, for their grief must be unimaginable.
I'm grieving because she was my age, shared a love for this sport, and also because it seems so senseless to me. She was a better diver than me, more experienced, in better shape. None of it makes any sense. Jupiter has current, it is notorious, but it's also relatively free of entanglement dangers, and she is a good diver. If she made it to the surface, as seems logical knowing the site and her experience, then why haven't extensive surface searches found her, sunburned, tired and thirsty but with a hell of a story???
I've been in this sport long enough to know that we rarely have the answers that we need. We can read "Lifes Lessons" in Rodales, and it's always so clear cut. But the actual facts are that usually, in diving accidents, we get nothing other than "drowning." And as divers we know that may be the end result but rarely the catalyst. It might help the medical examiner tidy it up and file it away, but the friends and fellow divers are left with the lingering "Why?"
For now I'm still praying for a miracle. I'm praying for her friends, and for those conducting the searches. And if anyone reads this, please say a prayer that this awesome woman will come home. |
